I hear that President Trump offered me $5,000 for my vote last night at the GOP mid-term Carnival. Now, I’m not opposed to the bribe; I am, after all a native of West Virginia and it was there that I learned the “Art of the Bribe.”

But I am insulted.

My vote is worth far more than that. More than Greenland even! So, here’s the deal Mr. President. I’m reasonable. I’ll negotiate. Give me a call. I’m sure you know where to find me.

© Michael M. Barrick, 2026.